Rachel Rippetoe|
Networking is something that I’ve watched and admired from afar, but never really thought I was capable of doing myself – kind of like watching someone perform brain surgery on Grey’s Anatomy. I’m awkward and bad at small talk and no matter how many times I brush my hair it still looks unbrushed. Networking is all about first impressions and I am terrible at first impressions.
Because of this debilitation, I have always been somewhat dismissive of the term. I’ve grown out of admiration and into slight resentment for those who can do networking well, landing those career-changing gigs from grabbing coffee with someone they met on Twitter (I’m resisting the urge to roll my eyes as I type this). I tell myself that I’d rather let my work speak for itself, and no amount of DM’ing will get me a job I don’t deserve. But still, I felt a twist in my stomach heading to Washington D.C. last week for my first big-girl journalism conference, certain that I would be out-networked.
However, having survived (perhaps even thrived?) a three-day schmooze-fest, let me tell you, kids, it’s not as hard as it looks. Here’s what I’ve learned about networking from ONA this year:
- It never happens when you expect it to:
Did you totally sound like a dweeb at that “networking” luncheon you went to? Did you spill your drink on the News Editor at The Boston Globe? (Don’t worry, I didn’t actually do this. I did talk to her though, and she looked at me like, “Girl, Please” when I said I was a UP student applying to The Boston Globe internship.) Don’t sweat it. While receptions, luncheons, and beltlines designed specifically for networking can be useful, particularly because employers are on the hunt for young (and cheap) talent, they’re also nerve-wracking and not always effective. Everyone has their guard up in a strange hyper-networking, ‘let-me-pitch-myself-to-you-in-five-minutes’ kind of way. It’s hard to make a genuine connection. But conferences are great because everyone is bottled in the same space together, even after the awkward formalities are over. Olivia and I made much friendlier connections at the hotel bar later that night ordering french fries. We curated friendly faces through karaoke and coffee lines (good things come to those who wait….. in ridiculously long lines for caffeine). It’s easier to be yourself when you’re in a more natural setting. And your mom is right, simply being yourself can get you where you need to go. So let your hair down, pull your name tag off. Who knows who will be standing next to you when you do? - Always go up and talk to the speakers you really really liked:
You will literally never, ever, ever regret it. You will, however, greatly regret it if you chicken out and shuffle out of the room as fast as possible. My first couple conferences in New York, I thought this was ridiculous. I would see people like Malika go up and chat with freaking Wesley Lowrey after a talk and I would be baffled. It was like watching brain surgery. I’d always tell myself that they probably have a million places to be right now and I have no business taking up their time. I’d also tell myself that I do not have a clever enough comment or question to impress them with, and I will just end up embarrassing myself. But I had to get over this when I went to David Fahrenthold’s session on interviewing. If you follow me on social media and pay even the slightest bit of attention, you should know that David Fahrenthold has been my deepest journalistic obsession for about a year now. He’s a Washington Post reporter who won the Pulitzer Prize this year for his reporting on Donald Trump’s charities and the breaking of the Access Hollywood tapes. My favorite thing about him, though, is his first-person account in The Post in which he details the time he shot himself in the eye with his kid’s confetti gun. In seriousness, his career path is exactly what I want to do as a journalist (other than the graduating from Harvard and going straight to The Washington Post thing. That ship has sailed, unfortunately). All this being said, I had to go up and talk to him after he gave a knock-out keynote. After this, my whole stance on talking to speakers shifted. He was the nicest guy and talked with us for over 20 minutes. I didn’t even care that the people in line behind me were peeved. We talked to a few other people after panels and keynotes with our new-found confidence. And not once did we have a bad experience. Always, always do it. - Be genuine:
There is a caveat to the #2 tip above. Don’t talk to someone just to talk to them. Don’t talk to them for their title. Don’t talk to them JUST because you think you might get a job out of it. The reason my really good interactions went really well is that I knew the people I was talking to and I was genuinely excited to talk to them. Networking isn’t just about getting a job. It’s about learning. Learning more about yourself, more about the work that you want to do. I didn’t talk to people like David because I thought he would hire me. I knew he had a job I wanted and I knew he did that job really well and I wanted to know more about his experience, and about what kind of person he is so I can determine whether I can be that kind of person. Call me crazy, but I’m not going to go and DM him on Twitter now asking if he’ll put in a good word for me on my Post application. I got exactly what I needed out of our conversation. Not a job, just reassurance that I’m in the right place doing what I’m meant to be doing. - Is it all a myth anyway?
This gets me to my last bit. I’m still not convinced that this whole network thing isn’t all a hoax. While journalists might call ONA a “networking conference” (the conference bit is true for all the useful sessions about new technology and online strategies), I’d rather call it a “support group”. As it was pointed out in the panel “How to Get Shit Done”, this journalism gig is really hard, harder than most jobs. Vice said it best: Journalism is terrible for your mental health. It’s an exhausting, mentally draining job and you have a whole outside world telling you half the time that your work doesn’t matter. So maybe instead of looking at these conferences as stress-inducing networking fiestas, we should say screw it, life is stress-inducing, let’s get a cocktail and talk about the ways we can take care of ourselves. I loved all the “real talk” panels featuring real journalists talking about real challenges in their lives and how to face them head-on. What I got the most of out of this schmooze-fest had nothing to do with schmoozing, really. I learned that even big fancy WaPo writers wait until 2 in the morning to finish their articles because that’s the only time they can write well. I listened to accomplished journalists describe habits and situations that I’ve actually been in/can relate to. I learned that it’s not as hard as I think to live in Washington D.C. as a young person. I learned that I can do this job, even if its hard.
So, network THAT, b*tch.
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